Well that was exhausting!! No, I haven’t just had a quickie - I’m referring to the completion of the overseas yard upheaval. As of last week, Sparkles (my girlfriend, the lovely Hannah Bailey, who was Pippa Funnell's head girl for six years) and I, along with the two dogs and eight horses, are now living at Perryfields Farm in Worcestershire – feel free to drop in anytime for tea (just bring your own milk, mugs, tea bags, sugar and kettle). It’s a gorgeous yard and was previously rented by Leslie Law, so Bushman (George) is currently residing in the stable once inhabited by none other than Shear H2O. I presume that George will now win Badminton and Olympic Gold… why didn’t I think of moving earlier?!
My bank manager would appreciate a boost in cashflow, so if any of you are in the area and would like some top class tuition at a very reasonable price then please don’t hesitate to contact me! In the meantime the 2010 eventing season has begun! I trotted off to Isleham last weekend, just a casual 133 miles away, which resulted in a 3.45am start for Sparkles and a 4.30am start for yours truly. The day started well – Sparkles left a cup of tea by my bed. After that it went in swings and roundabouts. The Duchess (Alex van Tuyll), aka Wonderwoman Supergroom, misinformed us that the A14 was closed, so I frowned concentratedly* (NB invented word) until we eventually reached the road in question, and lo and behold, all 80 miles were in full service - panic over!
Dressage was frisky, jumping was rusty on my behalf (but George managed a clear), and cross country was bliss – we’re so glad to be back in action! Ruth Edge did ridiculous dressage on all four of her rides, her highest mark all day was twenty bloody seven!! Can someone please rebuild Hadrian’s Wall and keep her in Scotland! I’ve also decided that indoor jumping is illogical based on the ground conditions which then present themselves when the season begins. Therefore, next winter, my show jumps will be located in Ireland’s deepest bog - that’ll teach the buggers!
Well I’ve now finished my mid-afternoon number two and quite honestly the laptop is burning my thighs. So for now readers, it’s goodbye from me.
(Sam closes laptop and places it on floor. He then stands up and looks around for loo paper. A horrified expression appears on his face as he realises that Oscar has stolen the last roll…)